Our Best Testing Indicates

My fiancee recently sent me a few choice selections of English responses handed in by her students. The first:

Reasons why fast food shouldn't be banned from being near school as written by a young ESL learner.

1. In order for the children to eat fast food because from is in order to eat a school lunch.

2. The map which will be to the place where the plague fast food store is dangerous in if is in order not to know.

3. Plague fast food the children make eat plentifully and is because making become.

I think this one must be a result of an automated online translator. I really can't fathom how else it could be quite this mangled. My one co-workers response: "I hope she gave him an A, because that just blew my mind. Way to go young learner!"

And next:

Q: What might happen if all of the forest are cut down? How might this change our planet?

A: Maybe in 2050 we can live in Mars. So we plan trees and flowers. We live in there. Government make don't cut trees rule in Mars. And we are not spend school supplier.

Awesome. Mars? Wow, where did that come from? I like though that the English, while not correct, is understandable...till the end at least. I think my friend Alex said it best:

Hah! I actually really like that. It shows a level of thinking ahead and depth of thought which you might not expect :p

The school supplier part has me stumped though.

As amusing as this is, the best though is this post a Korean ESL teacher forum wherein a native English speaking ESL teacher complains that his Korean teacher "incorrectly" corrected him in front of the class:

but she said this sentence is wrong....
"The most fast land animal is the cheetah."

Nice. This sparked off a rather ridiculous thread, that's probably not worth reading, but I will post the first response only because I still can't tell if the poster is serious or sarcastic:

Well, in academic English, which is the dialect of English that we are teaching, it is wrong. Poor form to correct your co-teacher in front of class, however.

Come on, that has to be sarcastic, right? The "Academic English" dialect? Poor form to correct a teacher in front of the class? I feel like this needs to be sarcasm, but sadly I don't think it is.